Also Sprach Qohelet

Qohelet--A redneck philosopher? A mad man with a Muse? An urban legend? Just one more griper with a keyboard and an ISP? Read on and find out. Qohelet opines on politics, religion, culture, and even sports. Qohelet is a modern renaissance man.


A plethora of punditry, a smorgasboard of smack.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Random thoughts on a snowy Christmas evening

Can you picture it? There's a fire on the hearth. The only lights are from the fire, the Christmas lights that are still on and visible through the front window, and the LCD screen of my laptop as I sit here in my recliner contemplating the end of a good Christmas day.

No, there isn't actually any snow outside, I made that part up. Come on, people. You know that I live in the South--we never have a white Christmas. But it was a nice thought, wasn't it? I bet there's some people in Denver that wouldn't mind switching places with me for a day or three.

So as I sit here I thought I might as well share some of my random thought processes with you. Here goes.

There's just nothing better than seeing the eyes light up on a child when he receives the perfect Christmas gift, you know, the one he's dreamed about for months. Superbly delightful.

If there is something finer than that, it would have to be the sight of a mighty fine woman dressed in holiday garb happily going about preparing the holiday meal. Is there anything I can help you with, honey? Oh yeah.

Is there a greater holiday classic than National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation?

Ever notice how many Southern Baptists get all riled up every year over whether or not some privately owned business like Wal-Mart says "Merry Christmas" or not, or whether some poor soul prints "X-mas" instead of "Christmas" on something, then at the same time they won't show up for church if it falls on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? "Come on, Pastor, it's a holiday!" they say. Is this the same dude that's been preaching "Keep Christ in Christmas" for the last three or four weeks? Yeah, I hear you.

Have you noticed how many people "believe" this time of year? They believe. Yes, sir. I was watching a network game show earlier. Yes, I'm ashamed to admit, but I was. Not that I think there's anything wrong, per se, with game shows, I'm just embarrassed for you to think that I might actually find them worth my time. But, since I was at someone else's house, and it was on, and they were watching it, and I was intrigued, there it was. I dis-remember what the show was called, but there was this bald-headed California dude, a bunch of young women holding metal suit cases, a sinister banker behind the scenes, and contestants trying to make deals for money. Both these dudes, these contestants, had something in common, besides their ability to make themselves look dumb on television. That was this--they believed. I watched nearly two hours of this show, and I'm telling you these dudes had strong faith. They were definitely believers. I'm still not sure, though, what it was they actually believed or who it was they believed in. But, their faith was so strong it was contagious, because some of those babes holding the boxes were, by the end of the show, expressing their faith, too. Yes, sir. Everyone is a believer on Christmas day. One guy kept saying, "If you believe, you'll achieve." He won less money than the other dude did. Meanwhile, I kept thinking to myself, Believe in what?

I guess it doesn't matter to some people what they believe in, as long as they believe. It just blesses your innards, don't it? We live in a culture of faith. (Either that or we live in a society full of idiots, but I'll leave that judgment up to you readers. I hate to say something that mean on Christmas day.)

Okay, I'll just say it. We live in a society full of idiots. If your faith is not grounded in something solid, it is foolishness. In fact, when there is something solid out there to anchor your faith in, and instead you put it in vain, empty things, that's just stupidity. Worse than that, when you consider that the truth is out there, is knowable, and you are commanded to believe it, but don't, instead believing in something silly, that's just downright rebellious and sinful. There's nothing warm and fuzzy about it.

Oh, well. Thank God there is something solid, something substantive we can wrap our minds and hearts around to believe in, something that will get us through dry seasons and the rainy days and the stormy months and (have I used all the weather metaphors up yet?) That something is what the season was originally about when it was adopted by the medieval Christians and that something is what Dan over at Pyromaniacs took the time to write about and post today. God bless the gospel and the beautiful feet of those who proclaim it. You can read Dan's post here.

The gospel, now there's something worth believing in. That other faith those game-show contestants had on display ain't worth the time it would take to sand-blast it and slap a "For Sale" sign on it.

Speaking of TeamPyro. Do those guys live in a war zone or something? Seems to me they're just a little bit hyper-sensitive to some commenters--a bit jumpy or eager to be offended, like somebody's been shootin' at 'em a bunch. Lighten up, guys. Not everyone's out to get you. Can we ask questions without getting the business? Can we be tongue-in-cheek without being misjudged as malcontents with malicious hearts?

Here, in the spirit of the season let me offer you a Christmas gift from Also Sprach. Take two of these and call me in the morning:

Now, feel better? Merry Christmas!


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